Monday, March 3, 2008

things fall apart

the center cannot hold. at least when it comes to mac hard drives.

yesterday I went to start up my ibook and it didn't want to work. I tried a variety of tricks, called apple, called my son--all to no avail. now it's at machospital but the prognosis is not good. (I am typing this from jim's pc)

as these things do, it happened out of nowhere. I'd turned off mac the night before because I'd read it's better for the environment to do so, rather than let it sleep. I had a busy Sunday morning so, uncharacteristically, I didn't even try to log on until the afternoon.

and then I couldn't. I won't go into the tedious details of my phone calls with tech support. I only want to record my grief. I may never get to work and play with lil white mac again. and that makes me sad.

not to mention--this is astounding--I discovered that buying a jump drive and misplacing it is not an adequate method of backing up files! one actually has to take the drive out of its plastic wrapping and insert it into the computer. well, excuuuuuse me! I hadn't done that. (I thought I paid for some mac plan backup thing. but apparently it has expired.)

never mind. I have other back ups for some stuff and I can probably retrieve my files somehow. but I'm still sad. I hate when things break. I get nervous and worried. I can't afford a new computer. what happens if Henrietta Honda comes down with something? she's never been ill a day in her life, but she's getting up there in age. (what is the ratio of car to people years, anyway?)

what about my HVAC system? my roof? my dishwasher, microwave, refrigerator, washer, drier? what about the paint the house needs? what about the price of gas?

I was thinking all this in the parking lot of the computer place today when I looked up and saw a woman in a wheelchair. I knew right then I should shut the f up. I can walk; I can work. I have a decent job, live in a warm place: I'm fine.

and I'm grateful for all I have.

so I started to list everything for which I am grateful and it took me all the way home.


Sharon Hurlbut said...

Maryanne, I'm sorry to hear about your Mac. My Mac sends good wishes for a speedy recovery!

At our house, we're dealing with a lot of stuff - minor health issues, impending unemployment, a completely uncertain future - but you're absolutely right. We are so very lucky compared to many others. And despite the stress that is hanging over us, I've felt incredibly happy lately because I've seen with sudden clarity that I have the things that really matter, and I have them in abundance. Thanks for reminding me again.


Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

I sympathize with your woes about broken things, and at the same time, I love how this post came full circle to gratitude. Hoorah!


Maryanne Stahl said...

thanks, gels! xxx

sharon, I'll send some positive energy your way.